HERE I AM
by Donna McIntosh
Summary: Summary: Ennis, filled with regrets, has a change of heart and takes off after Jack.He pulls his trailer up to Lightning Flat and announces to Jack, “Here I am” echoing Jack’sWords when he came up to Riverton after the divorce.
1. Chapter 1

Title: HERE I AM

Author: Brokeback Mountain

Rating: NC-17 FRAO

Genre: Slash

Warning: Sexually explicit M/M scenes & bad language.

Disclaimer: These characters belong to the wonderful Annie Proulx.

Summary: Ennis, filled with regrets, has a change of heart and takes off after Jack.

He pulls his trailer up to Lightning Flat and announces to Jack, "Here I am"; echoing Jack's

Words when he came up to Riverton after the divorce.

HERE I AM (Part l of 5 parts)

Ennis kept looking back, trying to get one last glimpse of Jack

standing there by his truck with 'that' look on his face. He had

hurt Jack again; and still he came to him, held him in his arms,

comforted him. They had great make-up sex and everything was

settled. Or not. Nothing between them ever was settled really.

Each had made their feelings clear to the other. Jack wanted them to

live together; Ennis insisted that was not going to happen. They

each had to accept the other's feelings on the matter. They had done

it now for twenty years nearly; it was nothing new.

The one thing that was new, was the look in Jack's eyes when they

said good-bye. It was like the light behind them had gone out.

Ennis not only saw this but felt it as well. A new ding in their

relationship; something bent seriously out of shape. He wondered if

it could ever be made right again.

He couldn't understand how or why he kept on hurting Jack. He did

want to be with him, but Jack was being unreasonable; expecting too

much. More than he could give. More than he had in him to give.

Jack must surely know this, yet he keeps on wanting this magical

place together, like it would solve all their problems. Living

together was just a dream; a fairy-tale. That sort of thing didn't

happen in real life. Two fellas living together; it just wasn't

done.

He heaved a sigh and drove on towards home, though he'd hardly call

his little trailer 'home'.

Thoughts of Jack kept him company on the ride. It was only a four or

five hour drive for him. He thought of Jack driving fourteen hours

each time to come see him. Wondered what he thought about during

those drives. Thoughts of him? maybe; thoughts of them together?

He had made that trip so many times and never complained about it.

Even that awful time right after the divorce was final. He drove all

that way and Ennis had turned him away. Hurt him again.

His stomach churned remembering that awful day. He thought for a

moment or two he might have to pull over and lose his breakfast. How

could he have hurt him like that? He should have told him to get a

room at the motel and he'd go see them after he got the girls

settled. He didn't though. He'd seen that look on Jack's face, that

muscle twitch under his eye, Jack looking away. Heard those sad

words. "Ok. See you next month then."

And still Jack came back. No matter how many times he hurt him, Jack

always came back. He clearly remembered the look on Jack's face that day.

He was so joyful, standing there saying "Here I am!" He wanted so much to

take him in his arms again, hold him just a little while longer, but Jack got in

the truck and left.

His heart broke that day; along with Jack's. He remembered thinking he'd

probably never see Jack again, just never hear from him. And yet he came

back. Why would he do that? Keep coming back?

He loves me. Ennis answered his own question. The only son-of-a-bitch

in this world who gave a damn about him, and he kept pushing him

away; holding him off. "Jack" he breathed the name aloud like

saying a prayer. "Jack, I do love you, you gotta know that even

though we never say the words, you gotta know it's there."

He knew what Jack's answer to that would be too. "Don't do no good

if it's there if we're living separate lives hundreds of miles

apart!" and he'd be right too. What good did it do loving

someone and being loved by someone if you can't be together?

He wrestled with these thoughts all the way home. That night in bed

he laid there smoking a cigarette and thinking of Jack's face,

grinning, saying "Here I am". It pained him something awful but at

the same time warmed his insides more than he could understand. This

crazy fella, drive all that way, so many times. And keeps coming

back for more.

He stood up, paced the floor and drank another beer. It just wasn't

right. He had to do something about it. He couldn't stand this any

more and neither could Jack. It was time! He went to bed then;

decision made.

Next morning he arose at dawn, set things right in his trailer,

hooked it up to the back of his truck and pulled out of that dust-pit

of a trailer court.

It was late afternoon when he passed the city limit sign into

Lightning Flat. He stopped for gas and asked for directions to the

Twist ranch. Thirty minutes later he spotted the house; Jack's

pickup was there in the drive beside another old truck. His heart

beat a little faster. He was scared now. What if Jack had changed

his mind? He wouldn't blame him, God knows, he'd hurt him more times

than any one else would ever stood for. He pulled slowly up into the

drive, stopped and got out. He walked to the door, trying to decide

what to say. He knocked and waited.

What would he do if Mr. or Mrs. Twist answered? He didn't know. A

small woman, wiping her hands on her apron answered the door.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Aaah. I come to see Jack. Is he around?" He fumbled with the

words.

"He's in the barn with his Pa," she said nervously. "Is everything

all right?" she asked.

"Hope so, Ma'am. My name is Ennis Del Mar." He felt it was time to

stand up.

Her face blossomed; flickering from Ennis to his trailer, and back

again. "He'll be mighty happy to see you." She smiled a smile

sweeter than any he had ever seen and nodded toward the barn. "Go

right on in." she told him.

He walked the short distance over to the barn and through the open

door he could see the two men bent over the tractor working on it.

He cleared his throat loud enough for them to both look up.

The look on Jack's face was priceless. He wished for a fleeting

moment that he had Junior's camera. He'd like to have a photo of

this.

Jack wiped his hands on an old rag and walked over to him. "Hey,

Cowboy." His eyes searching Ennis's face for a clue to his being

there.

"Been thinkin. You was right all along. So, well...here I am." He

held his hat in front of him, fingering the brim.

Jack stared at him open-mouthed in disbelief. Old man Twist walked

over to them. Ennis steeled himself and said what he had come to say.

"I quit the ranch. Pulled my trailer over. You still want this?"

his eyes were flicking back in forth between Jack and his Pa.

The old man's face screwed up in disgust. Somehow, that made it

easier. He could see what this man was; in one look.

"I love you, Jack. You still want me?" The old man walked a few

feet away and spit.

Jack looked from Ennis, to his Pa, and back to Ennis again.

Jack grabbed him in a bear hug, still speechless. "I take it,

that's a yes?" Ennis pulled back and grinned at him.

Jack pulled him out of the barn, around back. Took him in his arms

again and kissed him. After several moments they parted, still

holding on. "Did I hear you right? What you said in there in front

of my Pa?" He couldn't believe it.

"You mean when I said I love you?" Ennis said, the corners of his

mouth curling up just a bit.

"Hell yes. Do you mean that? You really here to stay?"

"Told you, I been thinkin. You were right. You been right from the

beginnin. I been lettin my fears ruin the life we could have had.

Now I want to make up for it. We got a lot of time left, Bud. And I

want us to spend it together."

Jack crushed him in his arms once again. He pulled back and grinned.

"Pa's gonna shit his pants!" he chuckled deep in his throat.

"Think maybe he already did." Ennis answered.

"C'mom. I want you to meet Momma." Jack drug him by the arm back to

the house.

"Already did. She smiles just like you."

He was pulled into the kitchen to see Mrs. Twist bending over the

oven taking a cake out, placing it to cool on a rack on the

cupboard. She turned around, grinning from ear to ear, tears

slipping down her cheeks. Jack swept her up in his arms and swung

her around. "I told you, Momma. I told you one day he'd come." He

kissed her cheek.

"You did for a fact, Jackie. You surely did." She reached out her

hand to Ennis in welcome. He took it and gave it a little squeeze.

"Nice to meet you Ma'am." Ennis smiled at her.

"Sit yourselves down now and have some coffee. Lunch will be ready

in a little bit." She placed two cups of coffee on the table in

front of them. Ennis took a sip. Jack didn't touch his; just sat

there and gazed at Ennis; sitting at his table in his home! He still

couldn't believe it.

The euphoria was soon shattered when the old man came in, slamming

the door behind him. He washed his hands in the kitchen sink and sat

down at the table.

"You gonna be stayin here, you're gonna earn your keep." the old man

said to Ennis.

"Pa.."Jack started.

"It's OK." Ennis nodded to Jack, then said to Mr. Twist, "That's

what I came for. Jack and me been talkin about me movin up here for

years to help him on this place. It's time now I was here." He

stared the old man in the eye.?

"Food costs money. You got any money?" He got Ennis with that one.

He only had a few hundred dollars that he had been able to save and

he sure wasn't going to hand it over to the old man.

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out two one-hundred dollar

bills and handed it to his Momma as she sat coffee down in front of

her husband. "Here, Momma. This's for now. I'll get more tomorrow

when I go into town." She stared at the bills. She'd never seen

hundred dollar bills before. She tried to give one back. "Here.

This is way too much. Food don't cost that much."

The old man snatched it out of her hand and stuck it in his

pocket. "Electricity does."

Jack gave him a seething look and said to his Momma. "I'll be goin

in to town tomorrow to the bank. Set me up an account there; and to

the post office." He turned to Ennis and said, "We'll see about

getting a phone line set up for the trailer. After lunch we'll look

around the place for the best place to park it." Back to his Pa

again, he said, "I'll be takin over the bills now. You let me have

them when they come in and I'll take care of them."

Mrs. Twist beamed as she sat lunch down in front of each of them;

serving Mr. Twist first, of course.

"Yeah, well we'll see how long this arrangement lasts," the old man

said glaring back and froth from Jack to Ennis.

"You probably won't be stayin long. Most of Jack's lamebrain ideas

don't come to nothin." Head down, he dug into his food, conversation

over.

The other three ate in silence until the old man wiped his mouth with

his napkin, got up and left the room. Ennis broke the silence, "Well

I think that went well." he said.

Jack looked at him and broke out laughing. Head leaning back, table

pounding laughing. "This ain't gonna be easy," he shook his head at

Ennis.

"I'm up for the challenge." Ennis said scraping up the last crumbs

of his cake. "How about you?"

"This ought to be real interesting!" Jack shook his head smiling

that sideways smile at Ennis. "I can take it if you can."

"Sounds like a plan." Ennis agreed.

Mrs. Twist smiled happily as she cleared the dishes. Her boy was

home again. Home to stay this time; now that his Ennis was here and

what a fine looking young man he was too! She had a feeling that

things were about to change at the Twist ranch. She was right.

The end of part 1 of 5 parts.


	2. Chapter 2

HERE I AM (Part 2 of five parts)

They found the perfect place for the trailer, back a ways and out of

sight of the house, yet close enough to run a sewer line to the

septic system and hoses and extension cords to the well head for

water and electricity. They had made a quick run into town for the

supplies with no trouble at all.

The local Home Depot had everything they needed. Ennis had closed

down again; being seen in public with Jack was a fearful thing for him

but he did it; got through it. Didn't breathe easier till they were back on the

ranch again. By supper time they had the trailer habitable.

"We gotta be at the house by 6:00 sharp for dinner or Pa'll get

really mad." Jack was hurrying Ennis across the field towards the

house.

"How could you tell?" Ennis asked.

"Huh?"

"How could you tell when he's mad? His expression don't change

never, that I can see."

Jack chuckled low in his chest. "You're right about that, my

friend. He ain't the friendliest man I ever met."

"Don't wanna hear 'bout any 'friendly' men you met." Ennis grinned

at him from under his hat brim.

Jack shoved him a little with his shoulder against Ennis's as they

walked into the house. Hats hung on the hooks by the door and they

sat themselves down. It was 5:57.

Mr. Twist came down the stairs, walked in the kitchen and took his

place at the table.

"Somethin smells mighty good, Momma." Jack smiled and placed his

napkin in his lap.

Ennis watched him, took his napkin and did the

same. "Sure does." he added.

"Oh, it's nothin special. Just roast, potatoes, and carrots is all."

She smiled and piled the dishes on the table. The old man started

eating immediately but Jack didn't start until his momma had sat

down. He picked up the meat plate and handed it to her. She took it

from him with a smile. Her son was always so polite. It made her

proud. She took some meat and passed the plate to Ennis. He took

some and passed it to Jack.

The old man stuffed his mouth, sopped up gravy with his bread and was

finished before the others were half-way through.

He sat staring across the table at Ennis. "So you dumped your

family in Riverton to come here and fool around with Jack?" He asked.

Jack's fork clattered onto his plate.

Ennis wiped his mouth and answered. "I been divorced for 10 years

now. My girls are grown. One's married and livin in Cheyenne now

and the other is living in Casper with my sister and going to nursin

school there. So there was no longer a reason for me to stay in

Riverton."

"Morals and decency might be considered a reason." the old man said

half under his breath. Mrs. Twist had placed a piece of apple pie in

front of him so conversation was cut off for the time being.

Mrs. Twist smiled at Ennis apologetically but said nothing.

Jack's eyes were shooting fire at his daddy and looking at Ennis,

trying to decide what to do next. Ennis moved his knee under the

table over next to Jack's and left it there. He smiled at him and

finished the last of his roast beef. Jack followed his lead and

ignored the old man.

"Momma, we're going into town tomorrow 'bout 9:00. Why don't you go

with us so's you can stock up on some more groceries while we're at

the bank." Jack handed her his empty plate. She took it and brought

back a piece of pie for him, nodded to Ennis who answered, "Yes,

please." and gave her his empty plate.

"I think that'd be right fine." she smiled at them and sat down to

finish her meal.

The old man wiped his mouth and stood up. "Don't the two of you go

holdin hands and kissin and stuff in town and embarrassin your

Momma." He left the room.

Jack was steaming, drumming his fingers on the table.

Ennis turned to Mrs. Twist and asked, "He always that nasty?"

She gave a nervous little laugh and said, "'fraid so. It's his

nature."

"One of these days, Momma..." Jack warned him Momma.

"Now, don't go gettin all upset. You know what he's like. Ain't no

changin him at his age."

"We can take it." Ennis assured her and looked at Jack. "We can

take it, Bud. It's better than me bein in Riverton and you bein in

Childress."

Jack heaved a geat sigh and shook his head in agreement.

"What are you goin to do about...Childress, son?" His Momma asked.

"That'll be easy. I'll call Lureen soon as we get our phone hooked

up tomorrow afternoon. Won't make much difference to her, I can

promise you that. Only thing upsettin her will be havin to find

another salesman for the business. And Bobby; he's goin off on some

cruise with his friends for the summer and in the fall he's off to

college in Dallas so my bein gone won't affect any of them all that

much. I do hate that it will make Lureen's daddy happy to see me

gone."

"Oh, son!" she shamed him, but nothing could wipe the smile off her

face. Her son was home!

Later in the trailer, they sat drinking beer. Jack on the one chair

that fit by the table and Ennis on the corner of the bed.

"This place ain't much. If you want to stay at your Momma's house, I

can understand." Ennis apologized.

"Nothin wrong with this. It's bigger than those tents we spent so

much time in." Jack laughed and took another swig of beer.

Ennis laughed and had to agree with that.

"Bed's not too bad, kinda small though."

"Looks big enough to me," Jack said, blue eyes smiling. "We'll just

have to cuddle up real close; maybe hold on each other so's neither

one falls off." He finished his beer. "What made you do this,

Cowboy? Come up here, I mean; after all those years of me beggin?"

"I figured I'd better get my head outta my ass before you go off and

do something I'd regret." He grinned that little grin of his and

reached for Jack and pulled him over on the bed with him. He pulled

his boots off; Jack did the same. They scooted back up on the bed,

heads on pillows, facing each other.

"Whatever made you change your mind; I'm grateful." he caressed Ennis

cheek, neck.

"I'm fixin to make you a whole lot more grateful here in just a

minute." Ennis grinned and started pulling Jack's shirt off. In

less than a minute they were both naked; kissing, touching, tasting.

Ennis turned Jack over and curled up close behind him. "This what

you're talkin 'bout? Hmmm?" He kissed the back of Jack's neck and

shoulder.

"Mmmm. Yeah. That'll do just fine." Jack pressed back against him.

Ennis reached for the lube in the nightstand drawer. Minutes later

he was sinking into pure bliss. "This what I been dreamin 'bout." he

mumbled into Jack's neck.

"Oh, Yeah; so good, Cowboy; so good." Jack pushed back with every

stroke.

"We got all the time in the world now, Bud. Make it last as long as

we want."

"Make it last the rest of our lives. Don't never want to feel nothin

again but this." Jack murmured.

"Do the best I can." Ennis rested his head against the back of

Jack's, kept the slow movements up till his leg began to cramp then

turned them over and finished the job.

Neither were used to being quiet as all their unions had been out in

the open mountainside; or that one time at the motel but that was all

but deserted, just two other cars at the far end. They howled their

completion seconds apart and snuggled down for some sweet after-glow

time.

"Made a mess." Jack whispered.

"Ain't the first; won't be the last." Ennis held him and pressed

kisses into that thick hair he loved so much.

"You sure hollered." Jack teased.

"That wasn't me hollerin. That was you. Probably woke your Pa up."

He snickered.

"Was not me." Jack laughed and hauled Ennis out of bed.

"Was to." Ennis said pulling Jack into the bathroom for a shower.

"So, you're wanting to play 'drop the soap'?" Jack asked climbing

into the tub with Ennis and pulling the curtain closed around them.

"Don't know 'bout such games. Wouldn't mind bein on my knees for a

bit though." Ennis answered as he soaped them both up. Then he

added, "Don't need to know where you'd learn such things, so keep it

to yourself." He ran soapy hands all over Jack's shoulders, arms,

chest; knelt down and soaped his legs, then in between.

"Am I dong it right?" He looked up as Jack.

Jack's head was back, hands flat against the wall supporting him,

mouth open, making sweet little noises; not really words.

"Guess so." Ennis said to himself; moved aside so the shower could

rinse them both off. He started first with kisses up the inside of

Jack's thigh, nuzzled the balls with his nose. Tongue came out and

joined the party, licking. Sucking the balls came next; then the

cock, all swollen and standing at attention for him. Jack's moaning

was constant now, a sub-vocal tribute to Ennis's efforts. As much as

he was enjoying himself, on his knees in the bathtub wasn't all that

comfortable. He wanted to get back into that bed. He took Jack in

full then deep into his throat. Jack let out a howl and Ennis

grinned as much as he could with his mouth full. He finished him off

and caught him when he lost his balance and went to his knees.

They sat for a minute then Ennis toweled them both off and let Jack

sit and rest while he changed the sheets. Soon they were snuggled up

in bed again, Jack running his hands over Ennis, covering him with

kisses.

Ranch life wasn't an easy life but it was a dream come true for these

two. They'd see to it. They were off to a good start.

The end of part 2 of 5.


	3. Chapter 3

HERE I AM (Part 3 of 5 parts)

Jack and Ennis spent the first week going over the place and seeing

what needed to be done in the way of improvements, cursing the old

man along the way for letting the place get so run down. They

studied their budget, working out how much they could afford to spend

right away and how much to put away to make sure they had enough

running room for a few years.

"Never told me you had this money stashed." Ennis commented.

"Was savin it for a surprise. I really got into the selling

business. Found I had a real knack for it. All's it takes is a

little talkin and a little smilin and they start writing out those

big checks!"

"That better be all you was doin for this money. Just talkin and

smilin." Ennis gave him a warning grin.

"Well, I did have to learn how to use all that stuff, so's I could

sell it. Got me some big time commissions and end of the year

bonuses. Saved every penny. Didn't even have to contribute much of

anything to everyday expenses neither. When Lureen's grandma passed

10 years ago, she left her house and a huge trust fund to Lureen.

The place was all set up, left some fancy cars and everything mostly

to Lureen. First thing Lureen did was hand me a bunch of credit

cards and all those bills went to her attorney who was handling the

trust fund so I ain't had to pay for nothin in years. We sold the

house that I had bought and that went into my little fund here, plus

most everything else I made. Always figured I'd be back here one day

and knew the place would need it."

"Had me no idea I'd be a rich man's 'boy'!" Ennis reached for the

pencil Jack had been using and tossed it on the cupboard.

Jack laid aside the papers he'd been working on, grabbed Ennis and

they tumbled onto the bed. "That what you are, Cowboy? My 'boy'?"

He rolled Ennis over and laid on top of him, kissing down the side of

his neck.

"I'll be anythin you want me to be, Bud, as long as you keep that

up." Ennis leaned his head over to give Jack more access to his

neck.

Pounding on the door brought them back to reality.

"SHIT!" Jack climbed off the bed and went to the door; Ennis threw

his legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

Jack flung the door open to find his Pa standing there.

"Cows are on the road. Fence in the south pasture finally give way.

You two zip up and git on over there." the old man sneered.

They grabbed their hats and were out the door. They took Jack's pick

up on over and tried shooing the animals back where they belonged.

Ennis jumped out, swinging his hat at them, Jack blocked their way

with his truck, then got out and helped.

"Think this fence gotta be first priority." Ennis said trying to

twist the wire back into shape long enough for a temporary hold.

"Yeah, then we need to take a trip to Riverton; pick up your horses.

Can't be playin 'cowboys' without horses."

"Sounds good. I need to pick up my last pay check, and pay old man

Keller for the use of the stables."

They did a passable mending job on the fence and took off for

Riverton.

They talked about fence mending, increasing the heard, acquiring a

few new bulls, repairs around the place, building on a new porch for

his Momma to sit out on. That was something the old man was supposed

to do after the old one finally fell during a storm. Jack had torn

down the shattered remains on one of his trips and his dad had

promised to build a new one as Mrs. Twist did like to sit out after

her evening's chores were done.

They had lunch in Riverton which put Ennis into a nervous state.

"Don't worry about it, Ennis. We're just a coupla guys havin lunch.

Look around, there's two guys over there, and three over there. You

think they're all doin it?"

"Hell no!" Ennis answered keeping his voice and eyes down.

"Well, what makes you think they're lookin at us thinkin we're doing

it?" Jack reasoned.

"Don't know." He chanced a quick look around the cafe. "They ain't

even lookin at us." he had to admit.

"Exactly my point. As long as we behave ourselves and don't commence

to grab-assin in public; we're just like anybody else."

The waitress placed their lunch in front of them then. They both

politely thanked her.

"Makes sense, I guess." Ennis picked up his sandwich then put it

back down and placed his napkin in his lap like Jack did.

"I got a lot to learn, Bud, but I can do it. I promise you that."

Jack smiled at him and nodded. "I know you can." he assured him.

They arrived back in Lightning Flat after dark and got the horses

settled into the stables they had set right before they left.

"They'll be fine. Still a little fidigety from the trailer ride.

They don't like that trailer all that much." Ennis said patting the

side of one of the horses neck.

"That's funny." Jack said, patting the other horse. "I love the

riding we do in your trailer."

Ennis grinned.

"I been thinkin along those lines myself." he walked over behind

Jack; put his arms around him. "So you feel like bein the rider or

the ridee?" He slipped a hand down to Jack's crotch and squeezed the

denim bulge.

"Don't much care so long as I'm along for the ride." He pressed his hips

forward into the warm hand.

Ennis left arm went around Jack's waist, right hand undid belt

buckle, snap and slid the zipper down. His hand slid inside caressing

balls, stroking cock.

Jack leaned back, both arms reaching behind him, pulling Ennis

tighter up against him.

"You want it here?" Ennis breathed against the back of his

neck. "Ain't got no lube out here."

"Didn't need any up on Brokeback." Jack encouraged.

"Guess I could be persuaded." Ennis allowed and slid Jack's jeans

down around his knees and undid his own.

Jack leaned forward, against the stall, braced himself with both

hands and stuck his rear out.

"That's about the finest persuasion I ever did see." Ennis wet himself

with saliva and entered Jack slowly, so's not to hurt him.

"Sure hope your Pa don't take to sleep-walkin."

"Serve the old son-of-a-bitch right!" Jack said then let out a long

soft moan as Ennis slid deep into him.

Ennis had meant to take it slow and easy but it was all too much for

him. The dim light from the single light bulb off in the front of the

barn, the smells of the horses and hay, the moonlight streaking in

through a window that hadn't been washed in 30 years, and Jack's bare

bottom. He caressed its smoothness, held onto those fine hips and

plunged faster. Jack's moaning didn't hurt none either. Such noises

that man could make!

Jack was beginning to tighten up, gasping he reached for Ennis hand,

like he did that first night they were together back on the mountain,

pulled it around front and Ennis gripped tight just in time for

Jack's explosive release. His squeals set the horses to snorting

round in their stalls and that was all it took for Ennis to empty

himself into Jack. They staggered, pulling, and holding on each

other over to a hay pile and collapsed in each others arms. They

stayed that way for a while wrapped around each other till the

night's chill set in and finally righted themselves and went to their

trailer.

Next morning at breakfast the old man let them know he wasn't too

happy with their repair job on the fence.

"That repair job you and your 'boyfriend' did ain't worth shit.

Those cows will be back on the road 'fore sundown." He slurped his

coffee, then dug into his breakfast.

"I was a temporary fix, Pa. We're goin into town today for

supplies. That whole south section needs replacin, not repairin.

It's so old it wouldn't hold in a herd of butterflies." Jack sipped

his coffee.

"Ain't nothin wrong with the fence. My daddy put up that fence.

Just needs seein to by someone knows how." The old man snorted.

Jack took a deep breath, looked over at Ennis and started a new

subject. "New tractor should be here today or tomorrow. It's got a

post-hole attachment. We already ordered all the stuff for the fence

and we're pickin it up this mornin. Once the tractor gets here,

we'll start on the post holes." Wasn't asking. Just telling.

"Waste of good money." The old man threw his napkin on the table and

left the room.

It was always a relief to them when he left the room. The three of

them could then enjoy the remainder of their meal.

"Momma, we got plans for your kitchen too. Gonna get you some new

appliances, do some paintin, fix it up real nice."

"Ooohh." She put her hands to her mouth, tears sprung into her

eyes. "Now you don't need to be spendin your money on my kitchen."

"If you're gonna be cookin for us, we are! Ain't that right, Ennis?"

"It's Jack's money he's been savin for years. Guess he can spend it

how he wants." he smiled at Mrs. Twist.

"Oh..Oh my goodness." She didn't know what to say.

"We was walkin 'round Home Depot the other day and saw all these fine

cabinets and such. Why don't we measure this kitchen here and see

what we can do about remodelin the whole thing?" He loved seeing the

expression on his Momma's face. This was something he had dreamed of

doing for years. "You could go along with us, pick out what you

like?" he offered.

"Oh no, I couldn't. You decide. Are you sure you want to do that?

That sounds awful expensive." She wandered back to the stove and

brought the coffee pot back re-filling all three cups.

"I set aside $10,000 just for improvements on the house. Figured we

could do most of the work ourselves, save some money and get more

done. Roof still looks good from that job we got done a few years

back. Figured with a little paint on the outside and some fixin here

and there it'd look pretty fine. Figured a couple thousand of that

for supplies for a new porch, Ennis and I'll build and I want to get

you a new heatin system put in. Those old radiators shoulda been

trashed years ago. We may have to just go electrical baseboard

heating for this winter in the main rooms and worry about a whole new

system later. The kitchen is the most important right now. We got

months before we have to worry about heatin this place. You sure you

don't want to go in and pick out cabinets with us?" He asked him

Momma.

"Oh my goodness, no. I don't care what they look like. Just so's

the doors open and close and I sure could use a bigger pantry." She

was getting into it a little bit now.

"We'll certainly see to that, Momma. And new appliances too, and I

wanna get you a new deep-freeze so's you can stock up for

winter 'case we get snowed in up here."

"New appliances, new cupboards, oh my." She went to the sink and

stood with her back to them. Ennis stood and took his empty cup to

the sink. Standing beside her he said. "That was a mighty fine

breakfast Ma'am. Coffee's best I ever had."

Jack came over to them, put his arm around his Momma's shoulder and

gave her a squeeze. "Always was the best cook in the county." he

kissed her cheek. "You be thinkin 'bout what colors you want in here

so's we can get the paintin done first. Ennis and me are going to

fetch the fencing supplies."

They walked out into the morning air. Breathed in deep and lit up

cigarettes.

"I really like your Momma. She reminds me of my own Momma sometimes,

least what I can remember of her."

Jack slung his arm around his shoulder as they walked to the truck.

"Better not be doin that shit in town." The old man called out from

the side of the house, standing there with his hands on his hips.

Ennis remembered that stance that Jack used so often and it sickened

him a little knowing that nasty old man was using it too.

Jack shot the old man a dirty look and they climbed into the truck

and were off. Had to rent a trailer in town to carry all the fencing

equipment got it all loaded up and was about to leave when one of the

employees walked up to them and asked, "One of you Jack Twist?"

"That'd be me." Jack said wiping his hands on his jeans.

"Phone call just came in from a Mrs. Twist. Said to tell you she got

a call your new tractor was in over cross the street. Thought your

should know before you drove all the way back home."

\

"Thanks." Jack said.

They walked across the street to the farm machinery place and went

in. Ten minutes later they were on the road, heading back to the

ranch; their tractor on a truck following along behind them. After

the unloading the truck driver took off and they were standing there

admiring their new John Deere when the old man walked up, looked the

green monster over, spit and walked away, not saying a word.

"Think I like it better when he keeps his mouth shut." Ennis grinned

at Jack.

Jack stood staring after his daddy as he disappeared into the

barn. "Don't know what I ever did to make him hate me so." He shook

his head.

Ennis caressed the back of Jack's neck. "Don't matter none. He

don't realize it yet, but this place ain't his no more. It's yours

now."

Jack looked up at him. "Guess you're right about that. He can curse

and spit all he wants. We're gonna do whatever we want with the

place." His arm went up around Ennis's back. "We should get

started. Just wait till I show you what this baby can do!"

"Seems like you got lots of work planned for us to do." Ennis

climbed up on the tractor beside him.

"Sure enough. You didn't think bein a rich man's boy was gonna be

all fun and games, did you?"

"Nope. But all the work we gonna be doin, don't see much time for

the fun part."

Jack chuckled down deep and reached for a quick kiss. "I promise I

won't tire you out too much for the fun. Sides, this is fun, ain't

it?" He tried to start the tractor up then remembered he hadn't put

any gas in it. Hopped down, grabbed the can from in front of the

barn and dumped enough in the tank for a try out. He was back up on

it in a minute and they drove the tractor around a bit.

"Purrs like a kitten." He proclaimed.

"A big kitten." Ennis agreed.

They washed up for lunch and went in. Mr. Twist was already in his

seat drinking coffee. They were greeted with a smile from Momma

Twist and sat down. She placed huge plates of food in front of each

of them and sat down herself.

"That's a God-damned waste of money if you ask me." the old man said

chewing on a mouthfull of food.

"No one's askin you, Pa." Jack said and started eating after his

Momma did.

Ennis watched it all, dark eyes flitting between the three other

faces at the table.

"It's his money." Mrs. Twist said in a small voice.

"Spendin it like a damn fool, he is! Be broke inside coupla months,

you wait and see."

She smiled at Jack and Ennis, that small little, 'I'm sorry' smile of

hers.

"Be better off spendin it on seed for plantin and it's nearly time

for your fall vegetable garden. There's lots more important

things to be spendin money on than that damn fool thing out there."

He gestured his fork towards the door.

"Already got the seed for the winter grass. It's out in the back of

the pickup. Got some seedlings on order for Momma's garden. Gonna

pick 'em up next weekend after we get the ground worked for her."

"You bought seedlings? I figured you'd come back with pansies or

somethin just as silly." He threw his napkin down and left the room.

Mrs. Twist put her napkin to her face to stem the tears, shoved her

chair back and ran up the stairs.

Jack looked at him with a sad, sad face. "You go on up to her, Jack."

Ennis wiped his mouth. Jack took off after his Momma.

Ennis decided it was time he had a little talk with Mr. Twist.

He found him in the front room smoking a cigarette and staring out

the window.

"Can I speak with you a minute?" he thought it'd be right to start

out nice-like; knowing this conversation wasn't going to end up that

way.

"I got nothin to say to you." the old man said.

"I was just wonderin. Why you hate Jack so much?" He stood leanin

against the fireplace mantel, near to where the old man had sat down.

"Well, I'll tell you. You look at him and all you see is someone to

suck your dick. I look at him and see all my hopes and dreams for a

fine family gone down the shit-hole. 'fore he was borned we was

gonna have us at least six or seven kids. The old lady will tell you

that. Then he came along, messed her up so's she can't have no

more. Ruined everything, he did."

"Then just when he was big enough to be a help around this place, he

runs off! Little son-of-a-bitch." He spit into his cup.

"Can't see as any of that is his fault." Ennis said, chewing on a

nail.

"Hell, even when he was here he wasn't good for nothin. Weak as

piss, and sooner sit in the kitchen with his Ma than bein out in the

field workin like a man. He ain't never been no good."

Ennis took two steps, stopped in front of the old man, reached down

grabbed him by his overalls and hauled him upright.

"Listen to me, you pice of shit. You're an OLD man, so I won't tear

head off this time, but I tell you this; and you'd better hear what

I'm sayin. You EVER treat Jack like that in front of me, or his

Momma again, I'll rip your fuckin guts out." He slammed him back

into his chair and went back into the kitchen just as Jack and his

Momma were coming back down the stairs.

Mrs. Twist smiled at him, her eyes red. She stood there with Jack's

arm around her.

"Don't you go worry 'bout nothin now, sweet thing, Jack and me can

take anythin that old fool can dish out." Ennis kissed her on the

cheek, turned to Jack.

"Better get started; lots of work to get done." He smiled at him.

Smiling wasn't his usual thing to do but after seeing Mrs. Twist and

Jack smiling all the time, he realized just how powerful a smile

could be. He decided he'd better try doing it more. Seemed like

both Jack and his Momma liked it when he did it.

He had a lot to smile about that summer. In no time, they had the

kitchen redone, new cabinets, shiny new appliances, and a nice

butter-yellow color on the walls. Mrs. Twist ever sewed up some new

curtains, and for some reason was constantly smiling. Just the way

Jack always remembered her. And Mr. Twist? For some reason he toned

down quite a bit. Most meals were now without insults. They ate

mostly in silence till he left the table but that was fine with the

other three.

There were good times ahead for the Twist Ranch. It had passed into

the hands of the next generation and was once again cared for and

made into a real home.

The end of part 3 of 5.


	4. Chapter 4

HERE I AM (Part 4 of 5 parts)

It was late July when their cabin kit arrived. Two l8 wheelers

pulled up in their drive, fully loaded. Took a few hours to unload

but before long they had all the sections identified and sorted out;

stacked neatly near the new foundation they had a contractor come in

and lay for them. Plumbing was all set, new tools bought and waiting

to be put to use.

"You really think we can do this?" Ennis asked a bit worried about

it all.

"Sure we can, Cowboy, easy as pie." Jack said flipping through the

instruction book, a little worried himself but not letting on.

"Never knew you could buy a place mail order." Ennis shook his head.

The old man walked up. "What's all this shit?"

"Our cabin, Pa. See here? This is what it's gonna look like." Jack

showed him the picture on the front of the instruction book.

"You think you're gonna build that out of all this? You're dreamin.

It'll make nice fire wood though." He spit and walked away.

After a few false starts they got one wall up and stood admiring

it. "See? That wasn't so tough now was it?" Jack said.

Ennis full out laughed out loud. "Jack. It took us three days to

get one short wall up. We'll be lucky to get this up before first

snow." He wiped the sweat off his forehead on his sleeve.

"Well, we know what we're doin now. The rest should be a snap."

Jack, the eternal optimist!

"A snap? I'd like to know what your idea of a snap is." Ennis

laughed.

"You think the only snap I know is on the top of your jeans?" Jack

laughed, and tossed the instruction manual at him.

"Hey, careful there. We lose that book all this will be firewood."

He smoothed out the creased pages.

Took them another three weeks hard work, sun up till sun down, before

it finally began to resemble a cabin. Got the roof finished and the

windows in before late summer storm closed in on them and they spent

the day relaxing in the trailer. They laid around in their

underwear, smoking cigarettes and drinking beer.

"Nice havin a day off." Jack said, stretching out on the bed,

propped up with a pillow and watching TV. Ennis was frying up some

potatoes and eggs on their little stove.

"Sure is. Almost forgot what it was like." He gazed at Jack; still

having a hard time believing he was here in Lightning Flat and they

were actually building a life together.

"Whatcha starin at?" Jack asked, not looking away from the TV.

"How'd you know I was lookin at you?" Ennis asked, breaking up bacon

bits and adding to the mixture.

"I have great peripheral vision."

"What's that mean?" Ennis dumped the mixture onto two plates and

joined Jack on the bed.

"Means I can see sideways even when I'm lookin straight ahead," he

answered and took his plate; moved over so Ennis could sit beside

him.

"You kiddin?" Ennis didn't know whether to believe him or not.

"Nope," Jack answered between bites. "These baby blues can see

everything worth seein."

"Oh they can, can they? Did they happen to see where you put the

mail? I was hopin for a letter from Junior this week."

"Over there beside the microwave." Jack pointed with his fork. "Hey,

bring me back a beer, I'm thirsty," he added.

Ennis rifled through the stack of mail and pulled out a

letter. "Here it is." He pulled two beers out of the fridge and

brought them over. He opened his letter and began to read the two

pages. He folded it up, put it back in the envelope and walked back

to the sink. He stood there hands braced on the counter, head down,

staring at the floor.

"What is it?" Jack asked. He got up, turned off the TV and went

over to Ennis. He caressed the back of Ennis's neck and asked

again, "What is it? Something happen?"

"She's comin up." He said through gritted teeth.

"Here?" Jack asked; the reason for Ennis's change in attitude sank in.

"Comin for a visit with her Momma; gonna come up here to see me."

He gripped the counter tight.

"Well...that's good, isn't it? I mean, you said you'd be tellin her

some day, didn't you?"

"Not yet. I ain't ready to be talkin 'bout things yet." He

shot a worried glance at Jack.

"C'mon now." Jack massaged his shoulders. "It ain't all that bad.

From what you been tellin me 'bout Junior, I think she'll understand."

"She's just a kid, Jack. How's she gonna understand somethin like

this?" He was really scared.

"She's nearly 20, Ennis. Next month you said. You tell her right,

say all the right words and she'll understand."

"What words, Jack? You tell me that. What words can

explain...this?"

Jack held him tight. "You'll think of somethin when the time comes.

It'll come to you."

Three days later Ennis was nervously waiting at the Stop Inn cafe for

Junior to show up. He sat alone, worrying over his cup of coffee.

They had decided that Jack would keep busy around the ranch while

Ennis talked with Junior, the three of them meeting up later on if

all went well.

He was staring into his coffee, trying to come up with words when a

hand on his shoulder brought him around. Junior was standing there.

"Hey, Daddy, you were a million miles away."

He came to his feet and embraced her. "Hey, yourself, sweet girl.

Didn't see you drive up." He held her back and looked at

her. "Married life must agree with you; you're looking prettier than

ever. C'mon. Sit down. We'll have some lunch." He signaled the

waitress and she brought over some menus.

They ordered lunch and chit-chatted through the meal; Junior bringing

Ennis up to date on her sister and her mother's new house. How Kurt

was off for a two-week stint with the National Guard so she decided

it was the perfect time to go visiting.

"So where you livin now, Daddy? You got a place here in town?"

"Nah. Got my trailer. Pulled it up here. Got it set up on the

ranch." He answered as they were leaving the cafe.

"That was real nice of them to let you do that. Must be real nice

people you're working for." She smiled up at him.

"Uh huh. C'mon. Let's go out the ranch. We can visit there. You

can follow me. Ain't no way you can get lost." He smiled at her and

caressed her hair.

"Sure, Daddy. Lead the way."

Thirty minutes later they were taking the steps into the trailer.

"Wow, Daddy. This place is really big and look over there.

Someone's building a cabin." She walked through the front door and

was just as amazed.

"Oh my goodness. You've really fixed this place up. Don't look like

the same place, it's so nice. Glad to see you finally did get some

furniture. And I see you got yourself a washer and dryer back there;

a new fridge; and everything is so clean!" She teased him.

She sat on the corner of the bed and he sat on the chair by the table

in front of her.

"Sure I can't get you anything? Soda? Beer?" He offered.

"No, thanks, I'm fine."

They sat for a few minutes in awkward silence before Junior spoke.

"You got something on your mind, Daddy? You been awful quiet."

He scratched the back of his head and said, "I guess I just been

thinkin how grown up you are now."

That wasn't all he was thinking and she knew it. She sat waiting for

him to get it out, whatever it was.

"I do have somethin that needs sayin." Hands on both knees, rubbing

the denim smooth.

"Go ahead." she encouraged.

"Somethin happened to me. Years ago when I wasn't much younger than

you. I was 19. Before me and your Momma got married."

"What? What happened? Tell me, Daddy. You're scarin me." She

reached out and pressed her hand on top of his.

"Nothin to be scared 'bout," he stalled. Jack was crazy, he

thought. Ain't no words comin when I need 'em to.

"I met someone."

"Oh. You mean you had an affair? Before you and Momma were married?

Well, that's nothing important."

"It's more than that, honey. Gotta get this all out, cause it is

important." He straightened himself in the chair.

"Like I said, it happened before your Momma and I got married.

Didn't see this person again until 4 years later. You and Jenny were

just babies. But when we saw each other again...well...it all

came back. What we'd been to each other."

The expression on Junior's face saddened up a bit. She kept quiet.

She knew her daddy needed to say his piece so she'd wait until the

end to say her thoughts.

"I ain't proud of this part but we saw each other coupla times a year

for the next several years." He watched her eyes and saw the

disappointment there. It cut like a knife but he went on.

"Now don't get me wrong here," he added quickly, "I ain't sorry I

married your momma and had you girls. You're the best gift a man

could have. It's just..." His words ran out.

"Just what, Daddy? You still seein this person? That why you and

Momma got a divorce?" she prompted.

"That's about it. Things are different now. We are both free and

we're...living together now." He had gotten it half out.

She stood up and walked around the small trailer.

"So this is a good thing then?" She asked.

"The best. The best ever happened to me." He stood up, walked over

to the kitchen area where she was standing, leaned back against the

cupboard and added. "There's more."

She looked at him with those big brown eyes and said, "Thought there

might be."

"It's...I mean...it's a fella."

"Jack Twist?" She asked.

"How'd you come to know that?" he asked a little scared.

"Oh Daddy! I wasn't a baby when you and Momma divorced. I knew the

two of you were miserable. The only time I ever saw you happy was

when you were packin up for one of your fishin trips with him. You'd

be gatherin up your stuff and whistlin."

She walked over to him and took his hand in both of hers. "I

remember wishin you'd be happy like that all the time. You always

seemed so sad. Jenny and I used to talk about it, later on when we

were older. I told her back then that I didn't think you were the

marryin kind."

"You knew? Jenny knows?" he was even more scared now.

"We wondered about it. You only ever dated that one girl that we

knew of and that didn't last long. I said to Jenny way back coupla

years ago, that if you did like men, I hoped it would be Jack Twist

cause he made you so happy. It is him, isn't it, Daddy?"

Ennis swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head 'yes'.

"You OK with this?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"Why wouldn't I be? Oh, Daddy. You don't think I'm one of those

awful bigots that can't accept anything but their own thinkin, do

you?" She hugged him close.

"All I ever wanted was to see you happy. Never did get to see much

of that. If Jack Twist makes you happy, then I love him to pieces."

He pulled her into a crushing embrace, pressed kisses into her hair.

"You don't know what this means to me, Baby Girl." He couldn't let

go of her.

"Well, tell me more so I can know." she said, tears shining in her

eyes. "Tell me everything."

They went back over and sat down again.

"This is his family's place. His Pa's gettin on and couldn't handle

it by himself no more so me and Jack are workin the place. And that

cabin you seen bein built? That's for us. It's our place. We're

building it." He was excited now to share his news. The hurdle had

been faced and was behind him.

"It's got two bedrooms, two bathrooms, gonna have a nice porch to sit

out on. We got all kinds of plans. I can't wait for you to meet

him; and his Momma too. She's a sweetheart. Pa's a real bastard

though so you might keep that in mind when you meet him. No tellin

what he might say. Don't care for me nor Jack much at all."

"Oh that's awful! Is Jack here? Can I see him? I've already met

him once, remember?"

"That's right, you did. Sure. He'd love to see you, so would his

momma. C'mon," he took her by the hand and led her outside.

They went over to the cabin first, Jack was there working with pencil

and paper making a list of stuff they needed at Home Depot. He stood

up with a smile when he saw them come through the door.

"Jack," Ennis beamed that tight little smile of his. "This is

Junior. Remember, you met her once before?"

Jack reached out his hand to her and she took it with a smile.

"Daddy's been tellin me about you. I wanted to thank you."

"Of course, I remember her." he said to Ennis and to her he said, "So

good seein you again. Whatever would you be thankin me for?"

"For puttin that smile on my Daddy's face, for gettin him out of

Riverton, for bein part of his life. He's been so miserable most of

it. Drank too much, smoked too much and didn't eat right. Look at

him now?" She looked over at her daddy, anxious and as excited as a

kid at Christmas. "He ain't never been that happy before. Never

have seen that expression on his face before today."

Jack smiled and winked at Ennis. "I guess you found the words?"

"They come to me." Ennis mumbled.

"Let's take her to meet Momma." Jack said, excited as a kid

himself. "She's dying to meet her."

They walked into the kitchen where Mrs. Twist was busy cleaning up.

"Momma, this here's Junior, Ennis's girl." Jack introduced them.

"Oh my goodness, she's beautiful!" She reached out her hand to

Junior. "So pleased to finally meet you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Twist. Can't tell you how good it is to be here."

They all sat down and Mrs. Twist brought out coffee and cookies for

everyone. They chatted happily for a time, getting to know one

another.

A chill fell over the room when the old pickup pulled up out front

and the old man slammed his way into the room.

"That the girl?" He stared at Junior for a moment. "Pretty. Must

take after her momma." and left the room.

A slight giggle went through the room and they were back to their

chit-chat.

"He always that friendly?" Junior asked Mrs. Twist.

"Believe me, honey. That was nice for him." They all laughed.

Jack and Ennis showed Junior around the place and filled her in on

all their plans. She was as excited as they were and shared in the

happy glow that surrounded them. By dinner time, Ennis was becoming

a bit worried.

"Maybe this ain't such a good idea. Maybe we should go into town, or

fix something in the trailer."

"Daddy, I don't care about him, whatever he says. I think we should

stay. I'm sure Jack's momma has been working on a meal for us and

it'd be a shame to disappoint her."

"What ever the two of you want to do, is OK with me; but Junior is

right, Cowboy. You know Momma's been plannin this dinner ever since

you said Junior was comin up."

"You're right. I know it. I'm just scared of what he might say.

Don't wanna go losing my temper."

"C'mon, Daddy, let's go. I'm starving." She took his arm and they

walked across the field to the house.

"You really eat every night at exactly 6:00?" she asked Jack.

"That's right. Breakfast at 6:00am, lunch at 12:00 noon and supper at

6:00, every meal I ever ate here. You was as much as five minutes

late, you missed the meal; period."

"That's a harsh way to live." Junior said.

They came into the kitchen and sat down.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Junior asked.

"No, thank you honey. You just sit down and visit with your Pa.

I'll have it all on in a few minutes."

The table was set for five, one side having two place settings.

Junior and her daddy sat there. They were just settling in when Mr.

Twist came in and took his seat. Mrs. Twist placed coffee in front

of him and poured cups all around.

Mr. Twist sipped his coffee and stared at Junior.

"So how do you feel 'bout your Pa foolin 'round with Jack here.?" he

asked her.

Ennis stiffened up; Jack swallowed hard, cleared his throat.

"I think it's wonderful. I've never seen Daddy so happy." Junior

smiled sweetly at him.

The old man snorted and started shoveling food onto his plate.

"This smells great, Momma." Jack helped his plate.

"Sure enough, does." Ennis agreed, taking some.

"All this good cooking must have a lot to do with Daddy lookin so

much better. He was always so skinny before." Junior said.

"You mean he looked worse than he does now?" the old man asked.

Junior waited a beat then answered as sweet as pie. "Oh yes. He was

so unhappy last time I saw him. Skinny as a rail. He's filled out

more now. Smiles a lot. Definitely an improvement. Ranch life

agrees with him."

"Why wouldn't he be smiling? Got free room and board. Don't have to

worry 'bout gettin fired, long as he does whatever the hell

his...'boss' tells him to." He said the word 'boss' with a sneer.

"I know, isn't that great? With so many people bein out of work and

all. And Jack's such a great guy to be workin for. My Daddy's a

lucky guy, all right." Junior smiled at Mrs. Twist worried look.

Dessert was served and soon the meal was over. Mr. Twist had long

gone off into the front room for a smoke and the others were carrying

dishes off the table to the sink.

"You're a very smart girl." Mrs. Twist whispered to Junior standing

next to her at the sink.

'I've known people like your husband before. It don't bother me

none. They just like to rile you. I don't let it get to me. I do

worry about Daddy though and Jack. He talk like that all the time

around them?"

"'fraid so." she admitted sadly.

"Everythin all right in here?" Ennis asked as he and Jack brought

the rest of the dishes off the table.

"Couldn't be better, Daddy." Junior hugged him.

Jack watched the interchange, smiling with happiness.

The visit went well and Junior stayed the night at a motel in town.

Jack and Ennis met her in the morning for breakfast before she left

for Riverton.

"Feel better now?" Jack asked as they were driving back to the ranch.

"Yeah, Bud. I do. She's somethin else, ain't she; my girl?" Ennis

reached over the console and took Jack's hand.

"She is that." Jack agreed and moved Ennis's hand between his legs.

"You got somethin on your mind, there Fella?" He gave Jack's bulge a

squeeze.

"I have. Ain't nothin we can talk 'bout though. Least ways not while

I'm drivin." He held Ennis's hand tight against him and moved his

hips back and forth.

Ennis pulled his hand away. "Better cut that out. You'll run us off

the road."

They made it home in one piece and were met with the old man qriping

about the stack of firewood dwindling down so they spent the rest of

that day sawing, chopping and stacking firewood.

After dinner they went to their cabin to look around and admire their

work.

"I have to hand it to you, Bud. This place is turnin out real

fine." Ennis said, running his hand over the new wallboard they had

installed in the kitchen area.

"Got somethin I want to show you back here." Jack led him back to

the bedroom area. He took out his lighter and lit a candle he had

put there earlier on a box. Beside the box was one of their old

bedrolls opened out.

"Thought it was time we christened this place." Jack smiled at him.

"When'd you do all this?" Ennis asked, smiling.

"Earlier. When you was on the can, when we was cleanin up for

dinner. You interested?"

"I'm always interested, you gotta know that by now." He pulled Jack

to him and kissed him.

"C'mere." Jack said and pulled him down on the bedroll. They pulled

their boots off first, then helped each other remove the rest of

their clothing. They rolled back and forth, first one on top, then

the other. They were breathless, their mouths kiss-swollen when they

finally broke for air. Jack reached for the lube he had stashed on

the box.

"You think of everythin?" Ennis asked.

"When it comes to you, Cowboy, there's nothin I don't think 'bout."

Jack squeezed some lube out onto his fingers and slipped his hand

between Ennis's legs.

Ennis opened up for him eagerly with a satisfied groan as Jack's

fingers entered him.

"You got some fine fingers there, boy." He whispered hoarsely.

"Got somethin else is even better." Jack answered, turning Ennis

over.

Ennis braced himself and pushed his rear back for Jack.

"Ohhhh Shit, that's good," he said as Jack entered him. "Can't

believe I lived so long with out this; with out you."

Jack made it last as long as he could then began thrusting in

earnest. His hand slipped around to grasp Ennis's cock and work it.

Ennis was just tipping over and grunting his release when Jack first

heard the noise. He was so close, he didn't want to stop but had to

look around.

A figure was standing there in the darkened doorway, turned and fled.

Ennis reached round then and grabbed Jack's hips with both hands and

pushed back into him and squeezed his muscles tight, bringing Jack

off.

Jack jumped off immediately as he came to his senses, grabbed his

jeans, hopped into them and ran out the door. Ennis followed.

"Jack? Jack, what's wrong?"

Jack put an arm out and stopped him at the front door. The two of

them watched as the dark figure stopped

by a nearby tree, braced himself against the tree with one hand and

had the right hand at his groin, going like a jack hammer.

"That the old man?" Ennis asked.

"spect so." Jack answered.

"He see?"

"Uh huh."

"Guess he musta liked what he saw." Ennis said quietly.

The old man had finished now and was heading back to the house.

"I swear, Ennis. I had no idea he'd be out here. I never known him

to go wanderin 'round after dark."

"Don't worry me none. It ain't like he didn't already know we was

doin it." he reasoned.

"That's true, but seein it is somethin else."

Next morning they went in for breakfast, the old man was already

there sitting at the table drinking coffee. Mrs. Twist was

saying "It's just awful, that's all. Just awful."

"What's awful, Momma?" Jack asked as they came and sat down at the

table.

"Your Pa's old friend, Joe Aguirre, you worked for him one summer,

remember?"

"What happened to him?" Jack asked, not really caring. He despised

the guy.

"He was shot last night. Someone caught him peekin in a window. Said

he was a peepin tom, spying on people 'round town over in Sage. Shot

him dead." She was aghast.

"That sometimes happens to people stickin their noses in where they

don't belong. Ennis said, staring at the old man.

"Didn't know him well," Jack said, "But if he was spyin on people, he

got what he deserved."

Mrs. Twist just went about putting breakfast on the table and sat

down with hers.

"It's just so sad." She murmured.

"It is and that's a fact Ma'am." Ennis said, staring dark eyes into

dark eyes across the table at the old man.

"He's a good man!" the old man spit out before shoveling food into

his mouth. End of discussion.

After breakfast the three men stood outside deciding which chores to

tackle first when Mrs. Twist call out the door to then.

"Jackie, Home Depot on the phone for you; you got somethin else on

order?" she smiled as her son ran on into the house.

The old man walked into the barn and Ennis followed him.

"You got somethin to say? Spit it out." the old man challenged him.

"No, sir. Not really." Ennis said, putting one hand on the old

man's shoulder and with one quick movement brought his knee up and

got the old man in the balls. He doubled over in pain, coughing and

spitting.

"Just this." he said between gritted teeth. "I ever catch you spyin

on us again, I'll cut that thing off a ya and you won't have it to

wring out on the trees 'round here."

He walked out of the barn just as Jack came out.

"Hey, our order's in let's go pick it up."

"Sounds like a fine idea to me. I could use a little drive 'bout

now."

There was no more spying on the Twist ranch and the old man seemed to

settle down a bit more and let his son take over the running of the

place. Mrs. Twist commented frequently to her 'boys' how their

presence had had a calming effect on the old man over the months

they'd been there. She was a happy woman at last.

The end of part 4 of 5 parts.


	5. Chapter 5

HERE I AM (Part 5 of 5 parts)

"I don't understand why you're so upset, Jenny. It's not like this

could be all that much of a shock to you. We've talked about this

before." Junior rubbed her sister's back and tried to console her.

"We were just talking about it. It wasn't real then. Now it is.

He's gay! I can't believe it. My own dad," she wept.

"Jenny, please. Come up there with me. I want you to see them. See

how happy Daddy is." she handed her sister another tissue.

"No thank you! I already met Mr. Jack Twist! I don't ever want to

see either of them again!" She stormed into the bathroom and slammed

the door.

Alma stuck her head in the door and asked Junior, "What's goin on,

Junior? What did you say to upset your sister?"

"Oh, Momma, I can't discuss this with you." She rolled her head

until her neck popped.

"What do you mean you can't discuss somethin with me? You always

been able to talk to me. What's so different about now?" Alma sat

down on her daughter's bed beside Junior.

"It's about Daddy. I didn't figure you'd want to hear." She

answered.

"Why wouldn't I wanna hear? What's he done now that's taken your

sister to tears." She held her daughter's hand.

"Oh, Momma, it ain't like that, Daddy didn't do nothin wrong." Junior

defended him.

"He's gay, Momma. Daddy's gay!" Jenny came back into the room and

rushed into her Momma's arms.

Alma gasped, but said nothing.

"Sissy, we talked about this years ago. I don't understand why

you're so upset."

"You talked about what?" Alma asked Junior.

"We talked about Daddy not being the marring kind. We talked about

that a long time ago, Jenny." Junior went to her sister again.

"I know. I know." She continued to sob in her Momma's arms.

"Why would you say such a thing, Junior?" Alma patted her youngest

daughter.

"Momma, I didn't want to talk to you about this...Sissy...Oh

crap!" Junior plopped back down on the bed.

"You watch your mouth, young lady. You may be married and on your

own now, but you will still respect my wishes in my house." She sat

Jenny down in the desk chair. "Now say whatever it is you told your

sister. Why would you say something like that about your Daddy?"

Junior heaved a great sigh and began, "I went to see Daddy up in

Lightning Flat. The place he's living on is the Twist ranch."

The name brought a sour expression to Alma's face.

"That don't mean nothin, Junior. Ranches are big places. Your daddy

used to go fishing with a guy named Twist."

"Momma, he told me. He said he and Jack Twist were livin together.

They are building a cabin on the place. It's real nice."

Alma froze; went rigid; her face white.

"I don't see what the big deal is, for Pete's sakes. It's 1983! Gay

people live together. What's wrong with that?" Junior said to both

of them.

"It ain't right!" Alma hissed. "It's a sin. And he's got no right

tellin you about his sinful ways." she finished.

"Oh, Momma!" Junior dropped her head into her hands. "That's exactly

why I didn't want to discuss this with you. You're so close minded."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" Alma cut her off and ran from

the room.

Junior walked over to her sister and knelt down in front of

her. "Please come see him with me. He's so happy; looks so good.

All smilin and sweet like."

"You don't think what he's doin is sinnin?" Jenny asked still

sniffing.

"No. I don't. I think gay people are born that way. Why would

anyone choose to be that way?" She rubbed her sister's arm.

"But Momma says.."

Junior cut her off. "Since when do you or I listen to what Momma

says?" She smiled.

"I know but..."

"No buts, Jenny. You know as well as I do how miserable Daddy was

for years. We used to talk about that a lot. That's the main reason

I needed to come see him. He looked so alone at the wedding. He

looked so skinny and like he'd been drinkin. His trailer was always such a

mess, filled with beer bottles and overflowing ash trays. Now it's

spic and span. He got some furniture in and it looks real nice. I

met Jack's folks too and his momma is just so sweet. She asked about

you and I told her I'd try and bring you up to meet her." She

fiddled with her sister's hair.

"It ain't Daddy's fault he's the way he is. You should see them, Sissy.

Just the way they look at each other. You can tell how much in love they are."

"I didn't think...I mean...I don't know what I mean." Jenny wiped

her eyes and nose on the tissue.

"You want Daddy to be happy don't you? We always used to say that,

remember. We used to think if he had a good job he would be happy;

we were so silly." She giggled. "They've known each other 20 years

now. They loved each other all that time and kept apart mostly. They

were both married and both had kids. Jack just had one, a son. Now

they are both divorced and the kids are grown there is no longer any

reason for them to be apart."

"I want Daddy to be happy, but couldn't he be happy with a woman;

any woman?" Jenny pleaded.

"No. He couldn't. He doesn't want a woman. He wants Jack. Can't

say as I blame him. That Jack is one fine looking man!"

"Junior!"

"Well, he is. You should get a look at those blue eyes of his and he

has eyelashes that I'd kill for."

"You're awful!" Jenny giggled.

The next day they were on their way to Lightning Flat; against their

Momma's wishes which made them all the more certain they were doing

the right thing.

Junior called ahead and warned Ennis they were coming. Said they

would have lunch in town and get a room for the night and come out to

the the ranch afterwards. Ennis was happy they were coming. He

hadn't seen Jenny in several months.

Jenny was nervous but anxious to see her daddy as well. She needed

to see for herself; this great change in him that her sister has been

telling her about.

"You sure about this, Junior?" she asked as they turned off on the

dirt road that led to the ranch.

"Positive." she smiled at her little sister. It was sometimes hard

to believe her sister was only one year younger than she was. She

always seemed so much younger. Jenny was always a Momma's girl,

babied more. Junior had always been her daddy's girl.

They pulled into the drive. Ennis and Jack were there waiting.

Jenny flew out of the door and into her daddy's arms.

"Daddy!" she squealed. He hugged her close and held her tight.

"Hey, baby girl. How you doin?" He smiled at her and petted her hair.

"Junior was right. You do look good. You look great!" she hugged

him again.

Junior smiled at her daddy and Jack, happy to let Jenny have the

attention.

Jenny finally looked over at Jack, reached out her hand to him and

said, "Hello, Mr. Twist. I remember you. Do you remember me?"

He took her hand and said, "I surely do." he smiled at her. "Good to see you."

"C'mon. Trailer's not far. Just across yonder," Ennis pointed out

behind the main house.

The four of them walked across the field, spread out. Ennis with a

girl under each arm; Jack next to Junior.

"This place is huge, Daddy."

"Over three hundred acres." he said.

"Really?" she was amazed.

"Three hundred forty three acres." Jack said.

"Is that your cabin?" she pointed to their cabin.

"Yep. If we ever get it finished."

"Oh ye of little faith!" Jack teased.

Ennis opened the door to the trailer and they went in.

"Jack seems to think we'll have it finished before the first snow

falls, but he's a dreamer. Always has been." he smiled at Jack

affectionately.

Jenny and Junior sat on the bed, Ennis on the chair by the tabe, Jack

hopped up on the cupboard and sat.

"Can I get you girls anything? Sodas?" Jack offered.

"No thanks," the girls answered in unison.

"This is really nice. Junior always said it was a pig sty." The

girls giggled.

"Well, it was, Daddy. You have to admit that."

"You're probably right about that. Never saw no need for cleanin up

before." he looked down sheepisly.

She looked up at Jack and smiled.

"Uh...Why don't I take a walk or somethin. Let the three of you

talk." Jack slid down off the cupboard.

"No." It was Jenny spoke up first. Two more 'no's followed.

"You sure? Cause, I can go find me somethin to do." He offered

again.

"Please stay." It was Jenny again.

"OK." He leaned back against the sink, long legs crossed at the

ankles.

"Junior told me about...things." she looked back and forth between

Ennis and Jack. "I ain't never known anybody...like this, so it was

kinda hard to understand at first but Junior and I done a lot of

talkin on the way up here. She says you two been knowin each other

for 20 years now."

"That's right," Ennis shook his head, "Little more now. Spring

of '63 when we met."

Jenny fiddled with her purse strap and finally said what she had in

her heart to say. "Daddy, Junior was right. You do look wonderful.

You ain't so skinny any more and your eyes ain't bloodshot. You look

real good."

"I feel real good, Jenny, better than ever," he nodded.

"I wanna thank you for that, Mr. Twist. I mean it. I never did see

Daddy lookin this good before." She smiled up at him.

"Please, call me Jack, and you're welcome. Your daddy means more to

me than I got words to say." He choked up a little.

Junior stood up rubbing her hands together. "This's gonna be a

wonderful visit. I can hardly wait for Jenny to meet your folks!"

She said the last to Jack.

They headed on over to the house; both Ennis and Jack warning Jenny

of the old man's nature.

"She'll be fine, Daddy. I already told her all about him." Junior

said, holding his hand like they used to when she was little and he'd

take them for walks.

They were walking passed the barn when the old man walked out in

front of them. "This the other one?" he asked staring at Jenny.

"How do you do, Mr. Twist. I'm pleased to meet you." Jenny held out

her hand to him but he didn't take it.

"Two girls don't look nothin alike. Sure you got the same Daddy?" he

snarled.

Junior let out a little laugh, hugged her daddy's arm and smiled

sweetly, "Of course we do, silly."

They turned to go into the house; Ennis made like he had something

stuck to the bottom of his boot and told the others to go on. Jack

opened the door and the two girls walked in.

Ennis stepped back, even with Mr. Twist, and with one swing of his

leg, the old man was on his ass in the dirt. Jack turned around

quickly to see what was happening.

"You alright there?" Ennis was pulling him up off the

ground. "Better watch your step there." he said brushing him off.

Then through clenched teeth, he repeated the message so no one else

could hear. "You better watch your step 'round my girls, or I'll

kick you ass no matter how old you are you son-of-a-bitch!"

They walked on inside to see Mrs. Twist absolutely cooing over the girls.

The visit went really well. The girls oooed and aaaaed over Mrs.

Twist needlepoint she was doing on some dish towels and she promised

to teach them how next time they came up. Dinner was an experience

with the old man being half-way civil. They left the next morning

after breakfast and hugs and kisses all around. Jack was thrilled to

be included in the group good-byes.

Ennis was beside himself with happiness as they drove home. So was

Jack.

"You know, I been thinkin. We got Christmas coming up. We should

be in the cabin by then. Think we should be gettin twin beds for the

extra bedroom. Maybe we could get the girls to come up. What do you

think?" Ennis asked.

"That sounds real good to me. You think Alma would agree to let

Jenny come up?"

"Hell, she ain't got no say in it anymore; Jenny's 18 now. She can

do what she wants." Ennis said.

"Well, I think it's a great idea. We got a lotta work to get done

before then." Jack warned.

"We can do it. It'll be a snap," he smiled over at Jack.

"We sure enough can, Friend." Jack replied with a wink.

They had a lot of work to do with all the fall and early winter work

on a ranch, but they managed to finish their cabin just before

Thanksgiving and moved in. It was only a small cabin, two bedrooms,

two bathrooms, hallway that opened into a living room and a large eat-

in kitchen. The porch was a large wrap-around and the back side of

it was loaded down with firewood for their fireplace. To them it was

huge after several months in the little trailer.

Jack's favorite place was the master bathroom with it huge whirlpool

tub. It took up most of the space in the room but the extra money it

cost was worth it.

Thanksgiving evening after dinner they were stuffed with turkey and

pumpkin pie. Jack went into the bathroom to start the tub and came

out a few minutes later and joined Ennis on the couch.

"You want some more pie?" Jack asked. "Momma gave us lots of left-

overs."

"Couldn't eat another bite."

They sat there holding hands, Jack nuzzling the side of Ennis's

head. "You about ready for our bath? I got a surprise for you."

"You didn't buy me any more of them chocolates, did you? Last time I

ate half the box in one night and had the shits for two days."

Jack laughed at him and pulled him to his feet. "No. No chocolates

this time, just a nice warm bath. How's that sound?" He unbuckled

Ennis's belt then undid his own.

"Sounds like somethin I'd be real thankful for on this Thanksgivin

Day." He smiled and followed Jack into the bedroom where they

stripped.

They went into the bathroom and Ennis stopped dead in his tracks!

There were candles lit on every surface, soft music playing, a bottle

of wine and two glasses sat on the edge of the tub and the tub was

filled with bubbles.

"Holy shit!" Was all he could think of to say.

"You like?" Jack asked closing the door behind them to keep the

warmth inside.

"Hell, yes. I feel like I'm in a movie or somethin. Ain't no

cameras 'round here is there?" He looked around the room.

"No. But that might be somethin to think about later on, when you

get tired of me and our sex life gets dull and boring."

Jack laughed.

"Can't see that happenin till I'm in my grave."

Jack stepped into the bubbles and reached out a hand to Ennis. He

stepped in and they sat down, covered themselves with bubbles.

"Ain't never had no bubble bath before." Ennis said leaning

back. "Feels good."

Jack poured wine into the two glasses and handed Ennis one.

"What's this?" Ennis asked smelling the red liquid.

"Wine." Jack answered.

"We run out of whiskey?"

"Nope, this ain't a whiskey night. It's a wine night. Just sip

it. You'll like it." Jack sipped his.

Ennis took a sip, made a face and commented, "It's sweet".

"Uh huh. Just like you." Jack answered and kissed him, tongue

probing.

He broke the kiss, brought his wine glass over and trickled some down

Ennis's shoulder; then bent down and licked it off.

"I think I'm gonna like this bubble bath - wine night stuff." Ennis

said voice husky.

Jack lifted Ennis's hand and dribbled some wine into the palm of his

hand and over the fingers; then slowly llicked it off, taking great

care to suck each finger into his mouth to clean it thoroughly.

"Do I get to do any of this tasting?" Ennis asked, barely able to

speak.

"Sure. Help yourself." Jack offered.

Ennis picked up his glass and poured a stream down the side of Jack's

neck and down his chest. He leaned forward and began licking the

sweet red wine off Jack's neck. He licked down his chest and stopped at a

nipple and spent a long time there sucking. Jack had very sensitive

nipples and Ennis liked to spend a lot of time working them, making

Jack squirm.

Jack leaned back and emptied the rest of his glass on his own chest;

covering the other nipple.

Ennis chuckled and followed the wine trail with his tongue.

Jack refilled their glasses, sipped a bit and leaned in for another

kissing session. Ennis pulled him over on his lap; water and bubbles

splashing onto the floor a bit. Their mouths came together again;

holding, claiming.

Ennis slipped his hands under Jack's hips and lifted him enough to

get under him and entered him.

" Ooooohhhh" they both groaned at the same time. Jack on his knees,

arms around Ennis' s neck; Ennis holding on Jack's hips with one arm

around, the other hand working Jack's cock. Their mouths plastered

together like nothing would ever tear them apart. All too soon the

room erupted with their cries of completion seconds apart.

They lolled in the tub for a time then got out and dried each other

off. They blew out the candles and headed for bed.

Ennis lay back on the fresh white sheets, a look of pure bliss on

his face. Jack fiddled with something in the back of the closet.

"What're you doing?" Ennis asked him.

"Got another surprise for you," Jack smiled and placed a box on the

bed beside Ennis.

"Jack. You didn't have to do all this...Shit, I didn't get you

nothin." Ennis sat up and held the box for a moment.

"It ain't a gift really." Jack explained, "More just a surprise."

Ennis lifted the lid and parted the tissue. The look on his face,

pure astonishment. He reached into the box with both hands and

caressed the fabric. He pulled out two old dirty stained shirts,

one white plaid, the other blue denim. White one tucked protectively

inside the blue.

He held the shirts to his face and tears began to roll down his

cheeks.

"All these years..." he couldn't finish the sentence; didn't even

remember what it was he was going to say. He pulled Jack over to him

and buried his head against his chest; Jack's arms came around him

and held him tight.

"You like your surprise?" Jack whispered against the tear-stained

cheek.

All Ennis could say was, "Jack...I swear."

The end of part 5 of 5 parts.


End file.
